In My Defense
WEEK 1
As Quaid and Desiree carpool home from together, they use the time to discuss their experiences with their UC, Irene.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my courses, it’s that student choice is important for engagement,” Quaid said, glaring out the passenger window. “So I taught a gym class where I divided the gym in half and gave students options of what game they wanted to play at the end of class…It was meeting the outcomes, they were happy doing it, and I had 100% happy engagement.”
Desiree was only half paying attention as she watched for a chance to merge into the traffic on the highway.
“But when I debriefed with Irene, she only talked about how she didn’t know what was going on. I even wrote in my lesson plan why I was doing it, so it was clear she hadn’t read it.“
WEEK 2
“It wasn’t bad,” Quaid reported as he and Desiree settled into the ride home. “It just wasn’t as good as it could have been. Half my students were in an in-school suspension [and the ones left were] the ones that don’t enjoy Phys Ed and [had] severe developmental disabilities. They are pretty good at picking up from other students what to do, but to be able to explain something on my own?”
“That’s tricky,” Desiree agreed. “I’ve only got a few students with IPPs, and I’m finding it hard enough to accommodate them.”
“Apparently, I should’ve switched it sooner to this game the UC had her in her head.”
“What? How were you supposed to know—”
“I know! So I was like, ‘I don’t have the years of experience you have. I tried looking up the resource [you told me about] and could not find it. I sent an email asking and never heard back about it. The resources never came through,’” he said. “And then she wanted me to use equipment from the equipment room that we [don’t] have.”
“What equipment?”
“Like floor scooters and hula-hoops and stuff.”
“Oh I found those the other day!” Desiree said, shoulder-checking to change lanes. “There’s the equipment room in the gym, right? But there’s a whole separate one tucked away by the music room.”
Quaid waved his hands in frustration. “Okay, well I didn’t know that, alright?” he said. “And maybe she could’ve told me that, but all of a sudden, [she] realized she was late for an appointment, got up, was visibly upset, was jamming stuff in her bag, swearing, and marched off without even saying goodbye.”
“Whoa! That’s completely unprofessional!”
Irene
University Consultant
Quaid
Grade 3
St. Milter's Elementary
Major : Physical Education
UC : Irene
WEEK 3
“Irene set a timer on her phone today,” Quaid said, tossing his laptop bag in the backseat. “She was all ‘This is all the time I’m going to take.’ She had to get to another appointment.”
Desiree laughed. “Pretty sure I was the other appointment. First time she’s been on time!” She waved goodbye to her TA across the parking lot and then climbed in the car.
“Well then maybe she shouldn’t be planning them back to back,” he said. “I’don’t like being cut off when we’re talking about something important. Like today, she was all ‘I talked to your TA, and we feel you don’t take feedback very well.’” He automatically looked both ways to help Desiree check for kids as they pulled out of the parking lot. “I am open to feedback. I want to learn, and I approach my teachers about it. I’don’t sit at the back of the class.”
“I think that’s true.”
“Right? But she said I’m defensive and that I seemed annoyed last time.”
“Were you?” Desiree said. “I mean, when we were talking about it last week, you seemed pretty annoyed.”
“No,” Quaid insisted. “I tried to gently say, ‘I’m sorry if I looked annoyed. I didn’t mean that. I was confused.’ I asked her if [next time] she could ask me why I’m doing something the way I was, so I didn’t seem like I was defending myself. She didn’t say anything to that.”
“Maybe you should try to just listen but not say anything,” Desiree said. “I mean, sometimes I feel the urge to push against Irene when she gives me feedback too, but the debrief is a lot easier if you just listen.”
“But an important part of feedback is to be able to say, ‘I’m listening. I hear it. But it’s not going to work for me, and I’d rather not do it.’”
Desiree
Grade 4
St. Milter's Elementary
Major : Modern Languages
UC : Irene
WEEK 4
“Feeling any better?” Desiree asked as Quaid got into the car.
Quaid handed her a crumpled letter. “Irene just gave this to me.”
After a few moments of reading, Desiree startled, looking closer at the text. “Whoa, they’re going to fail you? Not because you stayed home sick?”
“No, I think Irene understood that. I mean, I went to the doctor’s, got antibiotics, so I’ve got a note to prove it’s legit. But Irene called me when I was staying home and told me she’d be writing a letter, so it’s isn’t completely unexpected.”
“Oh no!” Desiree said, handing the letter back. “I’m so sorry!”
“I have a defense against pretty much everything in here though,” Quaid said, frustrated. “Like she says I was neglecting my TA’s recess supervision responsibilities. But I’m totally happy to be out on recess. I just didn’t know it was a requirement. If it was, my TA should have been communicating that to me. It just didn’t seem like it was super important…I did go out to begin with, but the course load got heavier.
“And apparently she went through my logbook and found lessons plans that are ‘completely inappropriate.’ I know exactly the ones she’s talking about. The problem was that day I was teaching three subjects, and I had to prepare all the materials for them as well.
“And apparently, I’m not meeting practicum expectations—you know, that website, reflecting the teaching competencies? From what I understood from my seminar teacher, this was a whole year-and-a-half program. At the end, we should have a well-curated group of things in there. But she insists it should all be finished now.”
“I’m sorry, Quaid,” Desiree said, feeling the need to comfort him somehow.
“But the biggest thing is this one. ‘Quaid isn’t receptive to feedback.’ Apparently my TA is on board with this one too. I think it’s because a while back, I tried a new math activity, where students work in differentiated groups with instructions on how to learn the material. It tanked the first week I tried it and my TA insisted that I go back to direct instruction. But that just doesn’t work well for me. So I waited a week and asked if I could try it again. He didn’t tell me at the time, but he must’ve told Irene that I wasn’t taking feedback.”
WEEK 5
“And that summative report? It felt like being barrelled over,” Quaid said. “I only had five minutes to read it and sign off on it…There was no way I could contest anything on there. They never gave me a chance to clarify any of these expectations I’m getting failed on.”
The Dean of Education listened calmly, but Quaid could tell they weren’t getting anywhere. In order to continue the program despite failing his practicum, he had to talk to the Dean and take a year off. Irene must’ve talked with him before he arrived though, because he seemed to agree that Quaid wasn’t able to take feedback.
“I guess your definition of feedback is the same as hers.”